Tuesday, July 24, 2007

a lot of changes are happening..my last week of work before i decide whether or not to sign on another contract..sch's starting like next week..the series of things to read up..to settle..blah blah blah..and my sis's father-in-law's condition..and so on. oh well..just hope for the best. a lot of things are settled..finally feeling kinda better with all the nonsense that i shouldn't even be bothering about in the first place. oh wells..need to get ready to go out.

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ostensibly ephemerally tainted.
@ |12:23 pm|
Monday, July 16, 2007

there are a lot of times in ur life that u are struck with realizations. it can be the realizations of happiness. of truth. of lies. of faith. it can also be the realization of the bleakness and darkness of human nature. sometimes u just find that as hard as u try to believe, to keep the faith, u really cannot. because people and things failed u. repeatedly. but what remains as true as that will be the fact that we never stop hoping, we never stop believing, even if we thought we have. but somehow u just wonder about love. if we claim to love each other so much at one point in time, what has caused that love to fade? what has caused that love to become just another passing phase in our lives? how can we bring ourselves to hurt the very person that we used to love with all our hearts and who meant everything to us? the answer may be a simple one, that we never really loved him/her with all our hearts and he/she never meant the world to us. but the answer may also be a complicated one. sheesh..i'm being melancholic and all all over again huh. it's just some thought i have because of what i witnessed happening to the people around me. i guess we are all essentially selfish afterall.

well..now about my life. haha..been quite tired recently..still not able to sleep properly sometimes..think i really need to adjust my body clock back to 'normal' and not nocturnal. oh well. guess i'll see about my contract timings and all when i get my timetable..but..i gotta get past the problem of module bidding first. *sigH* *big sigH* anyways mein was telling me she was contemplating reapply the following year cos she feels really uncomfortable about the prospect of going into the course this year and all alone and so on. well..i really think she shouldn't do it. and i guess by now she should've made up her mind..will ask her about it later. i hope she decides to go ahead with entering uni this year. haven't been meeting celeste and joyce for a looooong looooong time. both of them are like soooooo busy. oh wells. not like i'm that free too. but sometimes i just feel so tired that i need some time by myself just doing nothing but slack..eat..watch tv..sleep..and yeah u get the picture.
kok peng didn't come to work yesterday..ah min and jieying were on standby. so technically i was left all alone at work..well at least iqbal sat beside me and i kept disturbing and then siti came to work and then it was quite fun. haha..somehow..i've found some great fun being with siti..she's just so..i don't know what u call it. kinda quarrelled with my sis yesterday..guess she has a lot of things on her mind..with her father-in-law and everything..and i wasn't exactly in a very stable mood either. but i guess what i can say now is that everything in my mind is sorta sorted out already. i kinda regretted what i did cos it's really darn stupid..but at the very least i realize that it's stupid and i finally know for myself what is it really all about. sorry to kok peng about all the times i bugged him till like 4 5am when he gotta wake up at 5.45am in the morning. yes i am such an evil person.
actually..kok peng and i are 2 very very different people. different background..different groups of friends..different thinking..different in every aspect possible. it's as if we are opposites. if not for the fact that we work in the same company, i guess i would never have met someone like him at this point in my life. well, the same goes for a lot of people in the company. but i guess somehow i'm the closest to him out of all those very very different people. ah min, jieying, siti and all are like similar to me at least..but not kok peng. and ever since the first few times i've spoken to him, i have a strong feeling that i want him to be happy. like..i don't know. he always gives me the kinda feeling that he is not very happy at this point in time. and i really just want him to be happy.
anyways..whee!!! gonna go shopping with jieying on wed..and then go IKEA with siti next tues!! =)

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ostensibly ephemerally tainted.
@ |5:37 pm|
Wednesday, July 04, 2007

question.
how many times can ur heart break?
maybe the answer is infinite.
how about how many times can ur heart break before the pieces of ur heart are too small to be breakable anymore?
question. how many times can ur heart break, really?

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ostensibly ephemerally tainted.
@ |7:02 pm|

feeling damn tired. i don't know if i've been sleeping a lot or not. but it just feels like no amount of sleep can ease my fatigue. and it's not as if i fall asleep easily nowadays. sometimes it takes minutes..sometimes it takes hours..literally. been feeling quite sian about school starting. i mean like..oh gosh it's in 4 weeks?!?!
anyways..went shopping with ah min yesterday..by right supposed to go out with jieying..but she has some project thing to do..need to meet her evaluator at like 3.30pm today. so..not going out with her anymore. haha..last night i ended up replacing jon when i thought i was replacing regina..and then i'm replacing yi-gang tonight. sheesh..yi-gang better replace me when i need him to next time. i'm like so so so tired. hahaa..and i left my hair clip in firdaus' jacket pocket..took out it and tied up my hair using rubber band..den put inside..forgot to take out when i knocked off and returned the jacket to him. anyways..bought pretty a lot of stuff yesterday..feeling happy about it..but i'm still tired. haha..can't imagine going for tuition tomorrow. but well..at least it's english for the yishun boy and english and math for the..woodlands siblings. i don't think i wanna continue with the yishun boy. i'm very very tired. like what's the point of working so much and making myself feel so tired right. and gotta go out with my sis tml to get some stuff..think she's going town. oh wells.
i need to get a sweater..a digital watch..and a pair of sneakers..but i've got no $$ no $$. will be getting 75 bucks from the yishun tuition tml..and next week 165 bucks from the woodlands ppl..after which it'll be another 1 month before i get the rightly 150 bucks and 330 bucks from them..i'm thinking..should i continue with both assignments not..oh well..see how things go.

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ostensibly ephemerally tainted.
@ |3:12 pm|
Monday, July 02, 2007

okiez. i'm finally back. i'm gonna update my blog from now on. cos my computer can load the damned page now. whee!!! even if nobody reads it, it's ok. hahaha.

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ostensibly ephemerally tainted.
@ |3:06 pm|