Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Augustana - Stars & Boulevards

Wait, dear
A white horse is walking down my street here
Your words are creeping at my feet I fear
That sunrise will come too soon and you'll disappear
To the haze of a city and yourself
Oh no...

Look out
They're coming after us with big guns
They're only going to tell you all the bad things I've done
And even if the words they say aren't true they've won
Now I'm left here dying in the sun
Oh...

Seems like I'm always on my own...
Seems like I'm never coming home
Seems like I'm always on my own...
All the stars and boulevards
Ain't close enough for you

Late nights
Won't do me justice
When I drink
Just get so damn depressed
And it's, it's not like
I ain't trying to get over you
It's just hard to look at all the
Seasons pass me all the time
And I said

Oh...
Seems like I'm always on my own...
Seems like I'm never coming home...
Seems like I'm always on my own...
All the stars and boulevards
Ain't close enough for you

One last
Phone call from you
It wouldn't hurt much
I'd just like to hear your voice
And pretend to touch
Any inch of you that hasn’t
Said it all or read it all..
I sung my life away
And I say..

Oh...
Seems like I'm always on my own...
Seems like I'm never coming home
Seems like I'm always on my own...
All the stars and boulevards
Aren't close enough for you
(Seem like I'm always on my own)
All the stars and boulevards
Aren't close enough for you
(Seem like I'm never coming home)
All the stars and boulevards
Aren't close enough for you
(Seem like I'm always on my own)
All the stars and boulevards
Aren't close enough for you

haha..seems like i'm augustana mad huh..but this song's so so so nice tooo. haven't been able to get myself down to mugging for my prelims. yepp. even though it's like less than 2 weeks away. there doesn't seem to be any sense of urgency. yeah i'm scared. but it just ends there. seems like my sensory and motor neurones are working but not my effectors. ha. teachers day celebration tomorrow. gonna pon aj..as usual..and meet sam in the morning. oh well..come to think of it..if not for the fact that i'm gonna meet her..i'm probably not gonna pon school. anyway it gives me something to do. not to mention i haven't seen her in quite a while.

finished this book a few days ago. 'the memory of running'. it left me speechless..and sorta thoughtless. cause it makes me think and feel so much that suddenly i don't know what to think or feel. going on the journey with smithson ide to rediscover his past and memories of his elder sister..his journey back to life..to living once again..and just to experience him waking up and reliving everything is just so..gosh. haha. after reading the kite runner..i'm kinda hooked onto this kinda books. about life and all that crap. why? i don't know. perhaps i just want something, or somebody, to tell me what life is about. it's a kind of reassurance. that ultimately u'll have some kinda realization.

u know..i realize if there's one thing i'm good at, that's running away. be it consciously or unconsciously. i run away. whether it's by rationalizing or intellectualizing. by telling myself it's a fact. period. the story ends there. as muh as i know it doesn't, as much as i know there are more than facts involved. but i don't give a damn. or rather, i don't want to. yeah i know. everyone runs away. perhaps. there are just so many things i don't wanna deal with. and i don't know why i'm saying all these either.

ha. enjoy the halfday tomorrow. and for those mugging for prelims..good luck. that's including myself.

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ostensibly ephemerally tainted.
@ |7:05 pm|
Friday, August 25, 2006

Augustana - Boston

In the light of the sun
Is there anyone, ohh it has begun
O dear you look so lost
Eyes are red and tears are shed this world you must have crossed you said
You don' know me, and you don't even care
ooo yea
She said you don't know me, and you don't wear my chains ooo yea

Essential yet appealed
Carry all your thoughts, across an open field
When the flowers gaze at you
they're not the only ones who cry when they see you
You said you don't know me, and you don't even care
ooo yea
And she said you don't know me, and you don't wear my
chains
ooo yea

She said I think I'm going to Boston
I think I'll start a new life
I think I'll start it over
No one knows my name
I'll get out of California
I'm tired of the weather
I think I'll get a lover
I'll fly them out to Spain

I think I'll go to Boston
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town to leave this all behind
I think I need a sun rise
I'm tired of the sun set
Here it's nice in the summer
Some snow would be nice
Ooo yea

You don't know me
And you don't even care
Ooo yea

In Boston! No one knows my name
Yeaaa
No one knows my name
No one knows my name

In Boston no one knows my name

haha..i think i need a sunrise too. anyways..officially over it. yupp. and i'm starting to panic cos i haven't started hitting the books. or rather, the notes. nor the practices. think i'm dead. less than 3 weeks.

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ostensibly ephemerally tainted.
@ |7:45 pm|
Sunday, August 13, 2006

gosh..i love xin jie. arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr for the first time in my life i'm so touched that i cried. twice. and i thought that'll never happen.

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ostensibly ephemerally tainted.
@ |3:47 am|
Thursday, August 10, 2006

for the first time in a long time..i took a look at celeste's blog. as i read the recent entries, feelings of guilt..deja vu and heartache strucked me. as i read on and on..about her sorrow..her pretence..the screen got clouded over. i don't know why. i feel guilty. that i hadn't been there for her. that i didn't bother to ask her about it. i feel her heartache. i really do. perhaps afterall, i really haven't gotten over it. each time i think about it..each time eleanor reminds me of it..each time i see it..my vision dazzled. the next thing i know i can feel my eyes turn sour. stop pretending. stop erasing all those memories. at the end of the day..it all comes back to u. u know it. it's not that u don't remember. it's just that u refuse to remember. it's as simple as that. it's not that u're ok. it's just that u want to be ok. it's not that u don't feel it. it's just that u refuse to acknowledge it. gosh. who am i telling this to?
it's over. it's over. it's over. it's ok. it's ok. it's ok. it's really ok.
"a lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Lenin
"repetition does not transform a lie into a truth." Franklin Roosevelt
which is it?

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ostensibly ephemerally tainted.
@ |8:41 pm|
Tuesday, August 08, 2006

woo. it's national day celebration today. haha..everyone turned up in red and white....ok not everyone. most. it was ok lar..watched the performances..blah blah blah..took photos and went home. ok i went home to sleep before meeting joyce at mac's. i postponed it to 2pm cos i wanted to sleep. but i overslept and was late. ok anyway, i discovered that i've got conjunctivitis yesterday -_-" for some unknown reason. probably just my luck. haha..oh and the OCIP board is completed! yay!~
hmm..juz a random thought. if we were told that we would die tomorrow. how many can continue to do what they've always done without regrets? much of what we've been doing all our lives is for the long term. for our future. what if..there's no long run? what if..there's no future? bah.
been thinking about all the people i've known. the people i was once so close to. the people i wanted to be close to. the people i've loved. the people i've hated. the people i still love. the people i still can't tolerate. we all thought that things will never change. or at least at some point in time we did. but things changed and when we look back on it, we wonder, what happened? why did what seemed to be forever suddenly became ephemeral?
i sound weird. ok anyway..i'm off to mug. ha. happy mugging. even though it's national day soon.

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ostensibly ephemerally tainted.
@ |10:24 pm|
Thursday, August 03, 2006

always believe that things happen for a reason.
u'll feel better that way.

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ostensibly ephemerally tainted.
@ |8:03 pm|