Saturday, April 30, 2005

maybe the reason why i don't know is, as kok wei says, i don't want to know. when he asked me 'u dunno or u dun wanna noe?', suddenly it feels all too familiar. it is the exact same question i always ask sandy..and i forgot who else. weird huh. hahaz..i don't wanna think about it but yet at the same time i keep thinking about it. and for this time..only alison and kok wei knows about it. hahaz..for some reason i only told the both of them. i didn't even tell sarah. had a bad day in school yesterday. everything just feels so bad. actually..it's true. perhaps i do know. i just don't want to know. which is why my answer is always i don't know. and..talking so little to alison yesterday just tells me one thing. alison is the one person out of so many i know who really really understands me so well that whatever i do or say..most of the time he knows almost exactly what i'm thinking or feeling. which is kinda irritating most of the time cause he ALWAYS teases me or talks nonsense. again, not for the first time, i'm so glad i knew him. he's probably gonna leave some stupid tag talking crap again when he reads this. but i guess as irritating as he gets..knowing that he knows me well makes me feel better. hahaz..

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ostensibly ephemerally tainted.
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